5 THINGS CONFIDENT WOMEN DO
WHEN CONFIDENT WOMEN STRIDE INTO A ROOM WITH AN ENERGY THAT SAYS ‘I APPROVE OF MYSELF’ DO YOU WANDER HOW THEY GAIN THAT LEVEL OF CONFIDENCE?
I have spent the last few decades studying the mindset of confident women, and high achievers, and here’s what I know for sure, confident women are regular women with flaws, shortcomings and defects.
They may not be the prettiest, the smartest, the slimmest, the most successful but they have an infectious energy, an aura around them. They ooze confidence, without being arrogant.
Like all of us they experience challenges and bad days, but they don’t let any of this hold them back. They have a strong confidence which relies on self value REGARDLESS of their flaws.
Not everyone wants to become a world leader, but confident women become a leader in their own world.
Confident women know what they want, because they know what they value.
A lot of people ask me for tips on how to be more confident.
We all want it. We all need it.
I get it. Confidence is a powerful trait. Confident women have the ability to capture attention. They draw people to them like a magnet. Confidence asserts power and knowledge. Its shows leadership, it is the best defense out there. Their confidence displays to the world they are secure within themselves. Their body language and smile says it all.
Confident women can assert themselves, they accept themselves and their energy gives off the message they have got something worth getting to know.
Where you taught how to build confidence at school or university or by your parents?
I struggled around not having confidence for most of my life.
Until I had confidence everything felt maddeningly out of reach.
I was more concerned with what others thought of me, than what I thought about myself.
Competence only got me so far.
Confidence was the quality that turned my thoughts into actions. Confidence was the key factor in my success.
Perhaps past experiences have left you a little tender; maybe you grew up in an environment where you were constantly criticized, and have internalized the criticisms of others and exaggerate what’s wrong about you? maybe your parents expected you to live up to their high expectations and so you feel you have to be perfect otherwise you will be shamed, rejected or misunderstood and you have lost some of your confidence?
Whilst there are many qualities of confidence, I have compounded 5 of the most important things confident women do which can be learned.
1: THEY CONSIDER THEMSELVES AND THEIR NEEDS IMPORTANT
Confident women respect themselves. They obtain self-respect by looking inside and pondering their shortcomings, rather than denying them. By feeling important, they respect their values instead of compromising them to gain external validation and violate their sense of right and wrong. They find the courage to own their truth so that everything improves in their life.
They are aware there is no replacement for them. There is no copy. They know they are one of a kind. They are unique and make a mark wherever they go.
They love that they have their own strengths and talents and their own unique perspective. They are proud of the personal obstacles and challenges they have overcome, that no one else has and that they have developed them into a stronger individual.
They know deep down they have a destiny that only they can fill. They know they are meant to be great and they mean the world to someone.
They dwell on their positive characteristics, and constantly remind themselves they are worthy of success. They dress nicely; they think positively, they groom themselves. They honor and value their principals, advertise their strengths and not their weaknesses and even when they feel fearful, they continue to strive to reach their dreams.
They know they are on this planet for a purpose, even if they haven’t figured out exactly what it is yet.
They are not afraid of saying “No”. It might sometimes make them feel a bit bad to do so, but they like to live an authentic life, along with respecting themselves, their time and their energy.
2: THEY DON’T COMPARE THEMSELVES TO OTHERS.
They know that comparing themselves to others is the killer of dreams. They know they are enough. If they ever find themselves comparing themselves to others, it’s for information and not intimidation.
They understand one of the keys to success is being able to look at their own strengths and see their true value because without this ability to do so, they would be unmotivated and will be full of self – doubt.
They don’t focus on how they rank with others, as they know it isn’t a winning strategy…their journey has nothing to do with how others journeys are going. They are busy focusing on the road they are on and where they are heading.
They are comfortable with being perfectly imperfect as they understand perfectionism is an attempt to avoid rejection, criticism and failure. If they hear their critical self ever trying to undermine them, they ignore it. They know they are not unworthy because they have imperfections. They don’t invest any energy trying to cover up their perceived flaws.
If others are more successful than them, they champion them, not knock them down. They are always maximizing their own potential so they have no need to be jealous of others success.
3: THEY ARE COMFORTABLE BEING THEMSELVES
Confident women have self-acceptance. They embrace themselves as they are right now, regardless of their past, their mistakes or their weaknesses. They don’t always like everything about themselves, but have courage to be who they are. Paradoxically, people are misguided in thinking that they will be rejected if they reveal their true self, however they overlook the fact no one bids for a fake, the real deal is always more valuable.
They are able to embrace all facets of themselves. They recognize their limitations and weaknesses but this self awareness in no way interferes with their ability to fully accept themselves.
They don’t talk too much, they don’t seek attention and they don’t act like a know it all.
They are not afraid to lead. They know who they are and what they believe in and they have the courage to ask for what they want as they believe they are worthy of receiving.
They take care of themselves so they feel healthy and grounded. They make their needs a priority.
They do things that make them happy, they mean what they say and say what they mean, as they have that sense of authenticity.
They embrace their so -called flaws.
They are comfortable spending time alone as they enjoy their own company.
They honor their body. They maintain a healthy, positive mind, by being kind to it. They don’t terrorize it with telling themselves they are not good enough not smart enough, not …fill in the blanks. They learn to validate their emotional reality. They don’t ask permission from someone else to feel good about who they are. They show up for themselves and affirm they are valuable and that they matter to themselves. They bolster their self acceptance through self regulation, self awareness and self transcendence.
In the words of Jennifer Lawrence “ You look how you look… Be comfortable with who you are. What are you going to do? Be hungry every single day to make other people happy? That’s just dumb”
4: THEY TRUST THEMSELVES AND THEIR INTUITION
Confident women are their own master and are best friends with their inner voice. They are comfortable being in charge of their choice, decisions, what they think, do and say and sticking with it.
They continue to develop more faith in themselves, take chances on a new way of life, lighten up, make mistakes and learn from them without beating themselves up and stop taking everything personally and taking themselves so seriously.
They play full out and take a full shot at life.
They challenge all negative assumptions.
They create self love, and find the ability to look inwards, guiding their inner world like a loving parent protecting the treasure chest they have within, full of gifts, talents, strengths, finding so much that is right inside.
They know their intellectual mind is strong, yet their intuition is way wiser and far more accurate and they have learnt that the aim of their intuition is to get past their intellect.
They know they have to make the call as trusting their intuition is the ultimate act of trusting themselves.
5: THEY HOLD THEMSELVES TO A HIGHER STANDARD
Confident women know self-belief is the main pillar of success. Confident people have indestructible self-belief. They feel worthy of success, happiness and prosperity.
They expect the most out of themselves. They are not trying to be perfect, but instead have high expectations of themselves, even if they don’t always live up to it. They are always pushing themselves to be a better person. They constantly strive for being the best they can be.
They are not discouraged by mistakes, they let go of self defeating beliefs about what might happen in the future.
They are not willing to take short cuts, cut corners. They remain focused on their life, their goals and how they plan to accomplish them.
They believe they are different from the other 97% of people and they need to prove this, not just to themselves, but to others.
They refuse to be influenced by anyone who is slacking as they won’t risk being thrown off track on their journey. They are well aware it’s easy to be mediocre, but that’s not their style.
They expect excellence from themselves and believe in themselves.
They make productivity a habit and they know when they lead by example they motivate others to make the necessary changes in their lives.
In the words of Oprah “Keep your heels, head and standards high”
Thank you so much for reading. And now I’d love to hear from you. What’s the biggest challenge you’re struggling with around confidence right now that I can help you with?
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I’m Annie Ashdown, Author, Success coach, Cognitive Hypnotherapist,Speaker, based in London. I write about everything I’ve done wrong as a woman personally and professionally whilst out there in the trenches.
Clients hire me because they’ve been running so fast, in the fast lane with their GPS on, running on a treadmill expecting to move forward. I help them get their ship pointed in the right direction so all their energy can go towards their bigger future. Fuzzy targets don’t get hit. Clarity equals bigger future. I impact people’s lives by giving them the success tools that tap into their full potential and go to the next level.
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