Skip links

The First Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem


Self-esteem is how you view yourself. It’s the lens you look through when you consider who you are. If you have low self-esteem, you may view yourself in a negative way. Instead of thinking about how you have the gift for communication, you see yourself as someone who just can’t shut up.

Ultimately, high self esteem comes from living your life in a way that aligns with your values. If you habitually compromise on your values in the way you think and act, you’re setting yourself up for low self- esteem, poor self- worth and low confidence.  

Having clear values means you have a well – defined and compelling vision for what matters most to you.  

When you have low self-esteem, it’s easy to fixate on your flaws. But you don’t have to let low self-esteem destroy your confidence. There are simple steps you can take to start building up your self-esteem today.


People with low self-esteem often hold on to their old mistakes. They replay them in their minds again and again, wishing they could do things differently. But the problem is that you can’t change the past.

The first step toward increasing your self-esteem is to forgive yourself and let go of mistakes. One way you could do this is by journaling about your mistake and destroying the pages when you’re finished. Any time you’re tempted to relive your mistakes, remind yourself that those pages of your life are gone and that today’s a new day.


How we talk to ourselves has a radical effect on how we feel about ourselves and our self-esteem.  When we say things to ourselves like;  Wow, I can’t believe I said that, or I really blew it at that job interview, or I’m so lazy, why can’t I motivate myself, why am I always so critical of others, why can’t I be more patient… and so forth, we feel discouraged, anxious, guilty and shameful.

When we are in the cycle of negative self-talk our self-esteem takes a hit.   It’s important to remember how we habitually talk to ourselves determines how we habitually feel about ourselves.

Simply by changing our self- talk we can change our self-esteem. So, practice being more aware of your self-talk, especially when you are judgmental about yourself. Start catching it and re-framing it so that you are less critical of yourself and ferret out any cognitive distortions that may be accentuating any negative self-talk.


It may sound odd but over the past 20 years working as a coach I have found that my clients who practice gratitude have higher self-esteem.

I don’t just mean they express their gratitude every now and then, I mean they have daily rituals they practice around gratitude, which is a part of their life. It’s hard to practice gratitude and at the same time beat yourself up… When you practice continual gratitude you cultivate more self-compassion and this helps you maintain high self-esteem.

Why not give it a shot? Start by writing 3 things each day you are grateful for.

When it comes to building up your self-esteem, understand that it’s a gradual process. Concentrate on taking small steps toward your goals and be kind to yourself when you make a mistake. 

I would like to wrap this up by asking you a question:

What will high self- esteem help you achieve? What would you be able to do better if you had super high self- esteem?   Leave a comment below, and if you found this worthy, go on and share it with a friend.

I’m Annie Ashdown, Author, Success Coach, Cognitive Hypnotherapist, Speaker, based in London. I write about everything I’ve done wrong as a woman personally and professionally whilst out there in the trenches.

I work with high achievers who want to conquer imposter syndrome, crush self-doubt, and de-escalate anxiety. I help them knock down the wall that’s causing them frustration and standing between them and their next level of success so they can get closer to the dream life they’ve set their sights on.

Thanks for reading this post. If you enjoyed it, share it with a friend.

Don’t forget to comment below.

I publish new posts every week, so be sure to check back soon and let me know the kind of content you would like to see more of on this blog..

If you are ready to catapult your life to the next level, grab my FREE worksheet with 5 simple steps here.

The Confidence factor is now available on Kindle here.