Trust me, I know what it’s like to want to make big changes, work harder but wonder why you can’t get ahead. The pain became my comfort zone. I was too afraid to move beyond it. But the worst part was knowing I had wings, realising how much potential I had, but not feeling good enough to fly.
I had an extremely difficult childhood resulting in years of anxiety, unworthiness and insecurity. I lacked confidence and self – belief, and constantly sought approval. I became the UK media go -to -expert and secured 15 episodes of a prime time TV show and a book deal. I was flying. My agent had requests coming in from TV networks in NYC and LA. And I had a persistent, internalised, fear of being exposed as a fraud.
From the outside, my life looked good. Privately, though, I was struggling, overwhelmed by the attention, anxious that I couldn’t meet with the expectations of others…fear was running the show. I craved BIG success, yet was terrified of it.
I felt so overwhelmed, my nervous system was flooded with survival instincts. Obsessing over the outcomes kept me in limbo. I was operating from the place of desperation ‘I must make it happen’ blinding my intuition, judging myself, beating myself up…
The woman I am today, confidently, boldly, unapologetically knows her power, how to maintain that, to hold it, to stay in it.
I split my time between working in-depth with a small number of clients, and writing my debut novel to be adapted for screen.
A day at a time I’m moving on from my yesterdays…From who I was. In all areas. On all levels. In all ways, I’m doing well.